Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
