Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Two words: blizzard sex
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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