He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
