Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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