she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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