What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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