when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
