I need help removing her.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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