i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
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my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
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I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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