Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
