Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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