I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize