i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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