I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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