Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
