Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
the raccoons are back...
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