Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize