i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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