Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
