"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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