Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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