Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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