Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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