i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
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those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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