Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
