There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
