he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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