Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
There's even glitter on my cock...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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