we're blogging at a bar
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
