i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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