So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he thought i was a dude.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
