i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
