I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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