So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
