i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
