Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
