found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I am naked and annoyed.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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