Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
