There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
