So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
