We're facebook friends in real life
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize