Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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