Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize