This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
