im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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