"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Oh god it's open bar.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
