i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
