I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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