i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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