It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
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I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize