i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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