I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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