you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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