My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
