he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
