at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
