THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
