This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
