i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
