a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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