I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
