I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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