Kareoke will never be a sober sport
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
