how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
